Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Living With REAL Men

News flash! You're married to a sinner. And, surprise, surprise! Your husband is married to a sinner too. And get this! Everyone who is married, is married to a sinner!

We know this, yet sometimes we act like we don't know this. You know what I'm talking about. You can think of that little something that's under your craw right now! Your husband wronged you in some way, whether big or small, and you cannot believe that he would sin against you in that particular way! "So and so's husband doesn't act like that, so my husband has no excuse!" "The man of my dreams doesn't act like that." The man of your dreams isn't a real man...he's just that...a dream. And, that other husband you're comparing your husband too...he's a real guy with real sin too!

Well, seeing as how we are not married to perfect men, but rather REAL men, how should we respond when we are sinned against by them? God would have us to respond the same way we would to anyone who sinned against us.

I'm reminded of the story of the guy who went and throttled a guy who owed him a little bit of money, and yet had been forgiven a ridiculously large amount of money. We have been forgiven an unbelievable debt, yet how often do we turn around and throttle our husbands for a minor offense! You must on a daily basis see your sin in light of how God sees your sin (look to the cross for that perspective). Not only have the entire list of your offenses against God been nailed to the cross and buried in the tomb, but your husband's have been too! Grace is the word...both wallowing in God's grace towards you, and then turning around and dishing out that grace to your hubby.

I'm also reminded of the time when the disciples asked Jesus how many times they should forgive their brother who sinned against them. Seven times? If you think about your home life, putting a cap on forgiveness at #7 offense is a really tiny number isn't it? I think most of our marriages would have been over the first month if the cap was 7! Jesus responds with 70 times 7. Now that is exactly 490 times, but I think the point is, is that your not supposed to keep track! "Let's see here, Bob. That is the 2nd time you have come home late for dinner, which makes that...yes #367 offense in our marriage. Only 123 more times, and I'm outta here!" We all know that it is ridiculous keeping track like that! But we do a form of it in our marriages. We start keeping a record of wrongs in our heart and minds, and we stop forgiving and dumping on the grace, and then we become bitter. And then one day, all of those offenses will just roll of your tongue in one long litany of charges made against your husband. You'll explode! And your husband will wonder where all of this came from! So it's important to keep short accounts and just forgive and let go...time and time again.

The other thing I'm reminded of is treating your husband the way you want to be treated...the Golden Rule applied once more. You are no perfect wife yourself. He has to overlook, forgive, and put up with your sinning against him time and time again. How do you want your husband to respond when you sin against him? Do you want him to get angry with you, nag, make snide comments, give you the cold shoulder, storm out of the house, give you the silent treatment, keep a record of how many offenses you've sinned against him, grow bitter toward you, compare you to other wives? I daresay not! SO DON'T TREAT HIM LIKE THAT EITHER!

So, with all that said, don't be surprised when your husband sins against you. Look at him the way God sees him. Look at yourself the way God sees you. And be trinitarian through and through...live at peace with one another, forgiving each other, striving together for the UNITY of the gospel in our marriages.


Scenic Route said...

ouch! good stuff, Jana

Street said...

I so needed to read this right now!! Thank you friend. Did you know we are moving in 2 weeks, back to the midwest or beyond (chicago, ny, or tn). Kind of all of a sudden. This is great to read today. Love you!
(Oh, this is Sarah Joy :0))